Today’s post is the fourth in our December series of encouragement. My fourth email from Sacramento was originally dated 6/5/2018. Re-reading my own words over a year later, I can tell I am more relaxed in this message home than the first email. Heck, I am musing about the weather and Target in this one. That almost has a ring of normalcy to it! What does NOT feel like “every day” are the absolutely true stories in this post about the sparrow and the surfer dude.
Minds open? Let’s go!
my fourth email home (6/5/2018)
I have now survived 36 hours on my own in California with Luke. We are getting to know each other quite well! I am starting to be able to “read his signals”, and I think he may be getting used to me as well. Thank goodness he is patient and relaxed! I am excited to share with you the stories about the sparrow and the surfer dude. I promise every unbelievable word is 100% true.
dry heat is still HOT
We haven’t ventured out much mostly because it is 100 degrees here. I don’t care what anybody says about “dry heat” versus humidity. It is blazing HOT! Luke and I did make a quick run to Target today to return an item and look for something we needed. The Target is less than two miles from the hotel, but I was still nervous. It was comforting to me to be in such a familiar environment – all Targets look the same on the inside. Aside from the couple of people I saw wearing Oakland A’s baseball hats, we could have been shopping back home. No sparrow or surfer dude yet. Keep reading.
Nadine picks her name
Nadine texted today to check on me and Luke since Allan went back to Ohio. We had a very nice chat. We talked about several things including what she would like for Luke to call her. Some adoptees use the term “tummy mom”. Or “first mom”. Or “Mommy (insert first name)“. Nadine feels most comfortable with Luke calling her simply “Nadine”, so that’s what we shall do.
There are so many God-moments covering the past six days. I want to share my favorites (so far) with you. I know I promised you a sparrow and a surfer dude. Here they come!
worth more than many sparrows
You probably know that Allan and I did lots of adoption fundraising including the t-shirt with the sparrow design referencing Matthew 10:31. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. That Bible verse became our go-to through our adoption journey. Jesus is explaining to the disciples their (our) worth to God. Jesus makes the argument that if little birds can’t even land on the ground without God noticing, then how can He forget us, who are worth so much more to Him than many sparrows?
Naturally when we left Ohio to fly to California, I wore one of my fundraising sparrow t-shirts (pictured above). We were sitting inside the airport at gate B17 waiting to board our flight and we were both emotionally overwhelmed (terrified to be exact). Allan has a phobia about flying, too, so that added to the tension.
the sparrow in the airport
Low and behold, what landed on the armrest next to us inside the terminal? A SPARROW! It sat with us for a good five minutes or so and then flew off. Why in the world would a bird be inside the airport at our gate at that exact moment – and a sparrow to be specific???
I’ll tell you why. Because God is a Father who knows His children. He is sovereign over the entire universe, yet still knows each of us intimately enough to send exactly what we need exactly when we need it. Any time I start to let fear get the better of me out here, I remember that bird at the airport.
many more sparrows
God has sent several other “sparrows” to us in the form of the right people at the right time this week.
(1) The hospital social worker – Heather – secured a hotel room for us five minutes from the hospital for the three nights Luke was in the NICU – completely free of charge. We didn’t even have to ask. She just did it. What a blessing to be able to concentrate on Luke without worrying about a roof over our heads!
(2) We got hopelessly lost when we met Nadine for the first time in the hospital last Friday. There was so much construction in the parking lot we literally couldn’t find the correct entrance. We were gong to be late. Would Nadine even still want to see us? And then out of nowhere appeared a physician’s assistant who walked us to the right place. Right on time. His name? James – which has very important significance to Allan (and me) from a spiritual standpoint.
James 1:16-17 (MSG) says “So, my very dear friends, don’t get thrown off course. Every good and perfect gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light.” (Interesting side notes: Luke means “light giver”. In addition, in the Catholic tradition, St. Luke is considered the patron saint of physicians. Hmmmm…..)
(3) Rose, the NICU nurse on shift when Luke was discharged, sensed my anxiety about being alone out here when Allan returned home. She made sure I had her personal cell number when we left the hospital and told me to call her anytime if I had a question or a concern about Luke. Seriously?? I currently work in health care, and my personal cell number hasn’t gone out to a patient EVER.
(4) Hands down our favorite NICU security guard was Brittany. She made sure every security shift had our information so we didn’t have to jump through the same hoops every time. NICU security isn’t (and shouldn’t be) taken lightly to say the least. Brittany referred to Allan and me every day as “her family”. She was a great comfort to us so many stressful miles away from anyone or anything familiar.
the surfer dude
God hinted at Luke’s arrival through others before we even knew about him, too. Some friends from our church community asked if they could spend time praying around our adoption on our behalf. This was well before our adoption team ever called to say, “Surprise – get on a plane!” I had pretty much given up hope that an adoption was ever going to happen for us by that point, and I had privately started the grieving process. Remember, we were four and a half years in at this point with NO serious leads. Still, I never turn down earnest prayer support. So, sure. Have at it. I’m about all prayed out.
Part of that grieving process for me included getting rid of all the visual reminders. We quietly gave away several “bigger ticket” baby items and bags of prepared baby clothes to a local non-profit. I also placed a few baby items online to sell. My heavy heart assumed we weren’t going to need those things. Ever. Oh, heavy heart, hang in there!
So, back to the whole friends praying thing. Our friend reportedly got a “vision” of a man riding a surf board on the waves and shared that with us. What in the world? I have to admit – I thought that was the oddest thing to “see” during a prayer time. I really didn’t give it much more thought. Nice of our friends to serve us this way and all, but clearly God had changed His mind about calling us to adopt. We needed to move on. I told Allan the surfer dude imagery must mean that I need a beach vacation. Truth in that! I was spent.
riding the waves
Let’s look at the timeline that followed. Our friend got imagery of a surfer on May 13th/14th. Allan and I had to make a decision whether or not to commit to our adoption facilitators for another six months by May 21st. We signed that paperwork on the last day possible, although we committed with the understanding that I would use that six months to “say good-bye”. I needed to gently ease out of the process. I was not emotionally ready to just quit cold turkey. Besides, something about that surfer imagery just kept nagging at me. Nadine contacted our adoption team for the first time the next day on May 22nd. She was in labor with Luke seven days later on May 29th. We received our sudden and unexpected phone call to fly to sunny California – the quintessential surfer dude state – the very same hour!
As if that wasn’t enough to get our attention, at least two unrelated people (who didn’t yet know the surfer dude story) reassured us in those first crazy days by using the phrase “riding the waves”. RIDING THE WAVES! Each time I heard those exact words, I noticed and knew God’s signature was all over it. He has left no detail untouched right down to the sparrow and the surfer dude.
I will send another update in a day or two as I’m able. Tomorrow’s agenda is Luke’s first pediatrician appointment. And naps – hopefully lots of naps. Please continue to lift us up in prayer, especially now that Allan has returned home. Thank you for being on our team!
Love, Melissa
Tune in December 22nd for the next installment in this series!
Featured image by Susanne Jutzeler, suju-foto from Pixabay.
