I absolutely HATE conflict, and I shrink at non-constructive criticism. I’m working on those things. Yet, despite my ongoing efforts to feel less threatened by discord, this week’s blog post still seems like the most uncomfortable one we’ve published to date. True, we’ve been writing about some hard stuff here at the thankful bee. And yes, we have openly shared some of our unflattering struggles. But this week’s post is about a different struggle – one we can’t personally relate to, but are living in the middle of whether we choose to see it or not. One that directly impacts our brown- and black-skinned brothers and sisters. And there is one thing we know for certain. We cannot afford to be color blind.
Our collective enemy is at it again.
First of all, when I sat down to write on this topic, our collective enemy brought his toxic rhetoric to my ear. “Melissa, you are a middle-class white woman living in a predominantly middle-class white suburb. What in the world can you possibly offer to this topic? You are merely hitching yourself to the social justice headlines in a selfish effort to alleviate your own discomfort. No one cares what you have to say – you haven’t walked in these shoes, and your pale platitudes ring hollow at best. You will do nothing but alienate and offend people of EVERY color if you publish this. You are an ivory idiot. Keep your pallid mouth shut!”
But is that really the truth? I don’t think so. And any chance of my unintentionally saying or doing the wrong thing is worth the risk. NOT using this platform to speak up is by far the bigger mistake. I believe it’s what Jesus would do. So, here we go.
White privilege.
I used to instantly bristle at the term “white privilege”, as if that discounted or minimized any hard work, sustained effort or positive choices I’ve made in my life. That phrase made me feel like everything had been smoothly handed to me without question because of my white skin. Or like my fair (pale) skin automatically meant I personally owed a debt for something I didn’t personally do to someone I hadn’t personally met.
I certainly am educated enough to know that everyone does not have an equal opportunity in this country, and much of that has a root in racial inequality. However, after spending some time in a six-week racial reconciliation program through our church (Undivided), I better appreciate the catchphrase “white privilege” and what that means for my family specifically.
For example, white privilege means in part that my white teenage son can walk down the sidewalk in sunglasses and a hoodie and not raise alarm. (We can discuss other biases ALL teenage boys deal with in another post.) He can run through our community without fear of being shot by the neighborhood watch. It means that my white daughter and her white friends can enter a store together without causing extra suspicion with security. It also means that I don’t worry about my white children’s physical safety in an encounter with the local police.
A side note to police officers.
I married into a family of multiple police officers and one FBI agent. Some of my friends are either police officers or are married to them. And in all sincerity, I have nothing but respect and gratitude for honest police officers everywhere. I am sorry that the assholes of law enforcement are making it impossibly difficult for the rest of you.
Much like teachers generally take the heat for a broken US education system (another separate blog post opportunity), unfortunately police officers as a whole have become the face of the storm for an inherently biased US judicial system. Those despicable officers who abuse their authority should be brought to swift justice and no longer allowed to tarnish the hard-earned professional badges of the rest of you. On behalf of all of humanity, THANK YOU for the dangerous and critical work you do with integrity. You have an incredibly tough job, made even more difficult by reprehensible colleagues. We see you, too.
Color blindness.
The other thing that I’ve learned is that we cannot afford to be color blind. I hear people say that all the time. Heck, I used to say it, too. I used to say that I saw past a person’s skin color and viewed them based on the person he or she was inside instead. And while that is a noble idea on the surface, it really is all wrong. I WANT to see colors. I WANT to see differences in appearances. When I go color blind, I miss out on a huge chunk of God’s artistry, and I minimize someone else’s cultural identity. In other words, why should someone’s beautiful uniqueness have to become invisible for me to view them as global family?
Small answers.
I certainly don’t have all the answers (or really any game changing ones). In fact, I only have small answers. But I do want my friends, neighbors and coworkers of color to hear me.
I see you, and I see your families. I see the hurt. And the pain. And the fear.
I will walk next to you and your children if you want me to. Literally and figuratively. (I’ve already blogged about why I don’t run, but walking is nice.)
Racially derogatory terms and jokes are not okay in my presence, and I will open my mouth to say so whenever the opportunity arises.
I will do a better job about intentionally including books and movies in our home for our youngest son that positively represent brown and black skin.
I will make a better effort to purposefully discuss headlines involving racial injustices with my older children.
And I will pay attention when I vote on a local, state and national level.
I want to listen, and I want to understand. Even if that makes me uncomfortable.
Friends, as a civilized, human society we cannot afford to be color blind. And we cannot afford to be silent. When (not if) you SEE something, SAY something. And when (not if) you HEAR something, SPEAK up. Even after the recent media headlines fade from the front page. Because none of us are actually “… fighting against human enemies but against rulers, authorities, forces of cosmic darkness, and spiritual powers of evil in the heavens.” (Ephesians 6:12, CEB) Amen.
Header image by Wendy Corniquet from Pixabay.
