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A trip to the grocery store turns threatening.

by Melissa Holderby on Jan 12, 2020 category parenting, Uncategorized

Let me tell you a crazy story that happened recently. It is about the day a trip to the grocery store turned threatening for me and my toddler. I won’t soon forget the experience. It can be summed up by three distinct voices and one dangerous ride.

the first voice

It was a mistake you were chosen to be Luke’s mom! You don’t deserve to be anyone’s mother!

You are a disgrace. Look at you! You’re worthless.

How could you let this happen?!! You are a BAD MOM!

At least those were the words the accusing voice screamed at me in front of the grocery store. I was shaking and embarrassed with stinging tears of shame in my eyes.

the second voice

A second voice was there, too. It belonged to a stranger with a kind face. Her voice was softer and more gentle. You are okay. He is okay. This has happened to me before, too. I was grateful even if I didn’t believe her.

Here’s what had happened just moments before.

Luke and I were making a quick trip to the grocery store. As per the usual routine, he was securely strapped into the seat of a metal shopping cart, ready to head into the grocery store with me. I stopped to look at some autumn mum plants for purchase outside. My hand and eyes left the cart for ten seconds. That’s when our trip to the grocery store turned threatening.

the dangerous ride

I heard a woman’s voice that sounded alarmed and scared. Apparently when my attention was diverted to the mums, the shopping cart with my son attached rolled forward, then down the slope and into the crowded parking lot. I turned around just in time to see the woman catch the cart with Luke in the traffic lane.

No cars were coming in either direction. Tragedy was averted.

Immediately the first voice harshly screamed at me (in my head). Condemnation swelled up in me like hot acid in the back of my throat. Even after the woman with the kind face spoke gracious words to me, I was still horrified.

I stayed outside to collect myself before Luke and I entered the store. I was rattled for sure. My thoughts were swirling like angry hornets in my head.

Mistake. Unworthy. Disgrace.

the third voice

A third voice showed up. This one was also in my head. In other words, not an audible voice like the woman who caught the cart. It was more like an arrow suddenly cutting through the swarm of hornets and landing squarely in my heart.

Bullseye!

I chose you to be Luke’s mother five years before he was even born, and I don’t make mistakes.

I see you striving to be deserving of the gift. You don’t have to be Luke’s savior, because I am Luke’s Savior. Remember that I am your Savior, too. You are worthy because I say you are worthy.

Keep doing the best you can at any given moment and then trust Me to stand in the gap. You are a good mom. You are My beloved daughter. Grace has you covered. Stick with Me. I’ve got this.

in the end

As a result, I left the grocery store feeling better than when I entered. Luke seemed completely unimpressed by the whole near-accident. He was still my sweet, goofy boy with bare feet and peanut butter in his hair.

That night I tucked Luke into bed. We brushed his teeth. I read Goodnight, Moon. I kissed him on the cheek, telling him how much we treasure him. Most importantly, I told him about the voice that belongs to the King of All Creation.

Sleep tight, Baby Bear. Listen to His voice. He loves you beyond measure.

Adapted from 9/16/19 Facebook post. Image by Michael Gaida from Pixabay.

I don’t make New Year resolutions because they stink.

by Melissa Holderby on Dec 31, 2019 category Uncategorized

I typically don’t make New Year resolutions because they stink. You know what I mean. Things like, I am going to lose 30 pounds by swim suit season. Or, I am going to save three months worth of expenses in an emergency fund. And perhaps my favorite, I will not yell at my kids. Or my husband. Or the dog.

Yes, New Year resolutions stink. In other words, they smell badly. To be fair, they don’t have an odor at first. No, initially they smell like hope and promise and good intentions. A bubbly, sweet glass of champagne at magical midnight. Give it a few months, though. And then guess what I’ve got? A stinky list of disappointment in myself. Sour grape juice in the accusing light of day. No, thanks.

something different

Therefore instead of a list of resolutions, I started something different two years ago. I now make a bucket list of new things I want to experience in the upcoming year. For instance, different restaurants or recipes to try. Or a new hobby I want to explore. Maybe a novel place to travel.

Want to see my own bucket list for 2020? Here is a peek!

take a beginning pottery class

Who wants to throw some clay onto a pottery wheel with me? I have been intrigued ever since I made a clay project in fourth-grade art class. I clearly remember the little river otter created by nine-year-old me. He was precious. Until he blew up in the classroom kiln and came back to me with a chunk of his wee otter belly missing. Must have had a gas bubble in there. Poor little guy.

Anyway, I am registering for a beginning pottery class in March. So look for updates on that little experiment (and pictures of lumpy clay creations) this Spring! No wee otters this time, but maybe a mug or a bowl. Hopefully it doesn’t look like fourth-grade-me crafted it. Ha! Honestly, as long as I stretch myself by trying something new and having fun doing it, then bucket list mission accomplished.

tour a local winery

I have done this in the past and always enjoyed it. Why don’t I do this more often? If you have any recommendations within a few hours drive of southwest Ohio, please send them my way! Seriously. Let me know in the comments below. I truly want to hear your suggestions.

spend time outside my comfort zone

Technically this one is already scheduled. I will spend ten days in South Africa in July 2020 with seventy other adults. The trip is a chance to work alongside a local church in that country as well as the organization, Build The Future. And what a unique opportunity to learn from the powerful story of racial reconciliation in South Africa! As a result, our team will be able to apply what we’ve experienced to our communities, our country and most importantly to our own call as reconcilers. Very much looking forward to this adventure! Not at all looking forward to the 18-hour flight to get there. I actually swore off air travel in June 2018.

make YOUR bucket list

What is on your bucket list for 2020? It doesn’t have to be anything big or fancy. In other words, just something personal and meaningful to YOU.

Need help getting started? Here is the printable New Year’s Bucket List I started using two years ago. Last time I checked, it is FREE to download.

The new year is ours. What are we going to do with it? Cheers to 2020 and new experiences, friends!

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay.

We are finally coming home!

by Melissa Holderby on Dec 27, 2019 category Uncategorized

Today we have a BOGO. Think of it as an after-holiday sale without the crowds and the parking hassle. We are going to wrap up our December blog series with the last two messages I sent home from Sacramento. Email #6 was originally written June 7, 2018. My final email was sent June 10, 2018 after returning home the previous night.

Thank you for joining us on our month-long trip down memory lane. There is something about the holidays that brings out the sentimental in me.

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my sixth email home (6/7/2018)

Our Ohio social worker texted me a few hours ago. Ohio has approved Luke as a resident, and now we are fully cleared to leave California! Luke and I will be flying home Saturday afternoon (6/9/18)!

I have to admit, I am super nervous about flying across country alone with a newborn. All the details about returning the rental car, taking the shuttle to the airport terminal, navigating security, and managing an 11-day old infant on two planes (layover in Salt Lake City) is scary as heck. But God continues to provide me reassurance…

For example, our friends have family out here who are “overjoyed” to meet me at the airport Saturday and help handle the rental car, luggage, a stroller, and Luke. That is a huge weight off my heart.

Mrs. Branch – another sparrow

I called the airline directly to make the flight reservation and ask plenty of questions. The representative introduced herself as “Mrs. Branch” (another sparrow reference) She was incredibly kind and patient. Turns out Mrs. Branch and I are exactly the same forty-something ages with 19-year-old daughters, 16-year-old sons and very young babies. Not only was she able to book my seat and answer all my questions (essentially her job), but she also gave me a very encouraging pep talk about flying with a baby and about bringing a newborn into our family dynamic (definitely not her job).

Did you know, for example, that TSA will open one of Luke’s formula bottles to test the contents before they allow us to pass the security checkpoint? Even thought the bottles are small (2oz each), factory sealed and labeled. I never would have known that, so I will pack extras. I told Mrs. Branch the only explosive thing about Luke’s formula is in his diapers afterward. She laughed, but I think I’ll keep my goofy sense of humor to myself with the TSA agents on Saturday.

We are in the final stretch folks! I cannot wait to be home. Please keep the prayers for peaceful sleep and a peaceful mind/heart coming!

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my final email from home (6/10/2018)

We safely landed at CVG Saturday night at 10:20pm and are now home and doing fine. I will send a picture of us as a family as soon as I can corral all three of my children plus Allan and myself in the same spot – AND I have showered and slept more than a few hours in a row.

keeping my promise

Luke and I celebrated our last night in California with a quick trip to In-N-Out Burger. I had promised Nadine that I would take Luke for some fine California “cuisine” before we left the State. She laughed at the picture I texted to her and confirmed that I had made a good choice in restaurants. I also wanted her to know I keep my promises. That’s key in any relationship.

tears at two airports

Our friends’ cousin – Cathy – took great care of us getting from the rental car to the Delta terminal and then to the security checkpoint. Her genuine kindness will never be forgotten. I was so emotional leaving California and getting on a plane with Luke, and she just cried right along with me! She was a definite blessing to us on a happy, sad and scary day.

Luke had his own little boarding pass for both flights. Traveling solo with an 11-day-old baby was one of the craziest things I’ve ever done. However, the right people showed up at the right time to help me – God made sure. When I am more rested, I can’t wait to tell you about the cookie-eating truck driver seated next to me to Salt Lake City (published January 5, 2020).

Luke is already a well-loved little boy here. Having part of our family at the airport was such a welcome sight! He has already met an aunt, an uncle and one cousin. Big sister, Hannah, fed Luke before we got in the car to drive home, too. Welcome to the family, kid!

There is much more to tell, and I am looking forward to seeing you in person sometime this summer. Unless you live in another state, in which case, it may be a while. No more airports for me for a long, long, time.

you prayed us home

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for all of your encouragement and support during our adventure. It is crazy to think we didn’t even know Luke existed two weeks ago! Your love and your prayers were felt all the way across the country – I sincerely mean that. When I was at my low points of fatigue or fear, I was able to take great peace in knowing that our army was covering us in prayer. You prayed us home and you will always be an important part of Luke’s adoption story.

With much love, Melissa

Join the thankful bee in 2020 as we move forward with more encouraging hope, joy and humor. Our next story will publish on New Years Day and will toast a different aspect of our crazy life – “I Don’t Make New Year Resolutions Because They Stink“.

Image by Lars_Nissen_Photoart from Pixabay.

Hello, and welcome to the thankful bee.

by Melissa Holderby on Nov 27, 2019 category Uncategorized

Hello, and welcome to the thankful bee. I am so excited you are here! I’d love to explain a little more about who we are and why we created this blog.

I have dreamed for a long time about authoring to encourage and uplift. What we see and hear every day often tempts us to believe that hatred and harm control the world. And, perhaps even more sadly, that we are powerless to influence any of it. True, negative information and images seem to constantly bombard us. Also true that it can all be overwhelming. However, writing is one of my weapons to fight against that. I find it helpful to use words as a weapon against hopelessness.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t have a naive, rose-colored view of life. Any of us could justifiably claim that the world is harsh and life is unfair. I personally know folks who bitterly exist. Defeated. Overwhelmed. My own family has lived through some pretty ugly stuff. And no doubt will again in the future. But I don’t believe we were meant to live in darkness. The thankful bee was created to shine some light.

wired to see grace and goodness

What if we were openly vulnerable with each other about our messes and mistakes? Imagine if we listened to truly understand. Or if we disagreed without attacking? The world would certainly be more hopeful, more genuine and more connected. My Creator wired me to see the grace and goodness in things – even the very hard things. It is not always easy, and I often need a nudge. In other words, the thankful bee is a place for me to remind myself as much as to encourage the rest of us.

So, I’ll say it again. Hello, and welcome to the thankful bee. Consider our blog a place to exhale, recharge and maybe even laugh a little. A small light of encouragement we can all share. We are happy you are here.

Featured image by Wadley Photography.